Do you feel like infidelity has changed throughout different generations? Why? We wondered the same thing, so we got in touch with comedians, Scott Bennet and Suzy Frost to give us their opinions, and let’s just say, with their different experiences with love, we got some interesting answers.

By Shannon Channer  | @journalist_shnn

Suzy Frost is a comedian from Sheffield. She hasn’t had the best of luck when it comes to the dating world; she is bisexual but has never had a relationship with a woman, only had dalliances. However, she has vowed to never go back to a man, after her recent divorce, and only have relationships with women. Suzy has been cheated on twice in her life and accused by her mother-in-law. She is a serial monogamist, so all of her relationships have lasted 5-6 years. She has been cheated on two different times, the first time was when she caught her partner with a man, but the other time was when her partner was having nudes sent to him by other girls, to get “his rocks off”. 

Scott Bennett, a comedian from Nottingham, has had a less turbulent time. Now in his late-forties, he met his wife whilst he was at uni and they have been married for 15 years, with two daughters. He occasionally works with his wife, Gemma, on his comedy material.

DATING APPS:

Suzy: Suzy feels there is more focus on dating apps nowadays, “it’s like a sweet shop, you’ve got them at your fingertips”. When on Tinder, Suzy explained that it is more geared to people using it to cheat, whereas other dating apps, such as Hinge, are more focused on an emotional connection now.

Scott: Dating apps are like shopping, “swipe left and swipe right, it’s almost as if you’re shopping for a person rather than being willing to accept a person”.

GEN-Z:

Suzy: Suzy feels that the younger generation are more optimistic than others, they do enjoy putting their feelings first, “younger generations I think are more likely to be like nah, I’m done with that, I need to be happy, let’s go do something that will make me happy”. Seeing the sin of cheating is a lot more easier for gen-z, the signs are more openly visible on social media platforms like TikTok, the younger generation like to showcase their acts of being disloyal to friends, family or partners to get a reaction, “Maybe there’s an element of voyeurism to it, like they want to showboat it”.

Scott: “My generation had the ‘lad’ and ‘ladette’ culture, where promiscuity was seen as good, along with drinking pints and reading Loaded magazine. Female empowerment was seen as the Zoe Ball or Sarah Cox, swilling beer and so on” but today’s generation are more circumspect ‘Women were allowed to have sexual relationships just as much as men did back then, with no consequences. If you’re promiscuous now, there’s stuff that can be filmed, stuff that can be put online permanently. It probably explains why promiscuity isn’t as common now: it’s dangerous with social media”

GEN-X:

Suzy: She explained that gen-x are more likely to stay in a relationship, even if their partner has cheated on them for the sake of their children, which majority of the time ends with them being miserable. During the 80s-90s, you would have been shunned if you were single, especially if you were a single woman, so that may be another reason why they don’t leave the marriage or relationship. Gen-x are not so scared to leave a marriage now, they wait until their children are more grown up and they can’t stay in the marriage anymore because they are so sick of each other. “without social media for the older generation, it would be like, you go out and you’d have a conversation, or it would be physical, you would physically meet with each other”. 

“I’ve known other people’s parent’s who have cheated but they’ve insisted that they stay with them, and then there just miserable”

Suzy Frost

Scott: Scott explained that gen-x would have to meet someone in a pub or nightclub, which now seems so archaic. “If you wanted to cheat during the 80’s or 90’s it had to literally be an affair, there had to be some physical or sexual relationships, when you kissed someone else who wasn’t your partner, it would have just been a moment of weakness”. “I think people were allowed to make mistakes, and were allowed to get things wrong and learn from things, but I really worry about the next generation because I think it’s so impossible to do that”.

TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA:

Suzy: Information is so widely accessible nowadays according to Suzy, “…younger children are going to be di-centized to cheating because they are seeing it everywhere”, it will affect them, “…it’s literally on your phone, it’s slapping you in the face everyday, it’s horrible, and I don’t understand why it’s being glorified, I don’t understand why it’s a good thing”.

Scott: Our whole lives are intrinsically linked to technology, everyone is tracked, you have to be careful. You see a lot of shaming online if someone did something wrong or acted in a wrong way, you post a video and it goes viral, whereas the worst that could have happened in the past was people saying you’re a horrible person. Technology has brought us together but we are still distant. We judge people. People are given a perception of themselves online. Meeting someone online is convenient but we reject people for something stupid, “We’ve got these emotions but that’s all learned, at the end of the day we are sort of animalistic in the fact that, people dress up nice on a night out to attract a mate”

RELATIONSHIPS:

Suzy: When Suzy spoke about relationships, she told us, “If you are going to cheat, you should maybe think about getting into a polyamorous relationship, because no one will get hurt and everyone is in for the same thing, it’s less to do with cheating and more to do with going away from monogamy”.

“I think there is someone out there for everyone if you are prepared to work at it and you have to accept not everyone’s perfect”

Scott Bennett

Scott: Scott feels that people will leave a relationship if it is not what you see online, “people who don’t want to work at relationships anymore, I think this idea that everyone’s got the perfect life on Facebook”. This idealisation ruins relationships. “I just don’t think people want to waste their time anymore if they are in a situation that isn’t idealised”. However, people get to a point where the excitement of meeting different people and ‘fooling’ around does wear off and they want to settle down at a point, “the last thing you want to be is alone I think”.

CHEATING:

Suzy: Cheating is physical but if Suzy found a conversation that was suggestive and promiscuous, that her partner had that wasn’t with her, that is also cheating. “…cheating is physical obviously and I found this with one of my previous boyfriends, I saw a long conversation with someone that’s suggestive and promiscuous and all that, that to me is cheating because you could have that with me, why are you looking elsewhere?”
Scott: There are many reasons why people cheat, but Scott said. “Something is lacking or they can’t be honest with their partner. People, life, children and your whole outlook on life can change, that people now marry someone for one reason but leave for another. People want to get out of a marriage or relationship, so they cheat, hoping that will hurt less than telling them that they want to leave”. “they have a sexual relationship for the excitement and lust but I have seen it with friends, you leave the person you have been with for 15 years due to an affair with someone usually younger but then end up in the same position, they want kids, commitment, but your 20 years older and poorer”.